


I Didn't Just Kiss Her

by Saint_Rick_The_Dick



Category: Rick and Morty
Genre: Dirty Talk, F/F, Lesbian Sex, Oral Sex, Vaginal Fingering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-31
Updated: 2017-12-31
Packaged: 2019-02-25 20:06:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13220238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saint_Rick_The_Dick/pseuds/Saint_Rick_The_Dick
Summary: So this is an idea I’ve been kicking around for awhile. What if you met Rita Sanchez  - the female version of Rick?





	I Didn't Just Kiss Her

Rick was gone; dead and buried. Well, more likely vaporized as the only items recovered after the explosion were a broken portal gun, and his left shoe with the foot still inside. Of course you’d mourned the loss, numbing yourself with booze and mediocre sex via a string of one night stands, almost all of whom were tall, lanky, old men with bald spots and bad breath. Nothing could  _ truly _ replace Rick, however, and while you were aware there were infinite universes and thus infinite Ricks, you had yet to encounter additional versions aside from the one which had been yours _. _

So when you were at yet another seedy dive two towns over, perusing the offerings on that Saturday evening, your heart skipped when you saw what you thought was a Rick perched on a stool at the end of the bar. The hair was slightly different - a little longer and lacking a bald spot - and the shoulders were not as broad, the waist more defined, yet almost everything else was the same. Lab coat, long limbs, large hands, delicate fingers. It wasn’t until you caught the side profile that you realized there was one _ very  _ important difference - this Rick was a woman.

She was younger, maybe in her mid-50s, the age lines on her face not as pronounced, and when she turned to glance in your direction - almost as if she knew you’d been staring - you noted she had two, distinct eyebrows. Also, her nose wasn’t as sharp, her lips a little fuller, her jaw well defined. In a word, she was elegant. That was, until she moved to stand. Once on her feet, her level of intoxication was obvious and it came across much like it did with all Ricks - a drunken, half-swagger, half-stumble that threatened to send her to the floor with a single misstep. She was making her way to you, and you quickly buried your nose in your drink in an attempt to appear nonchalant. Her voice came from behind, low and gruff, but obviously female.

“Y-y-you look like a person who would rather drown their sorrows between someone’s legs than in  the bottom of a glass.”

Oh, she was  _ definitely  _ a Rick. Turning, you made eye contact and smiled. Up close, you could see the similarities, which made the differences stand out just that much more in contrast. Same eyes, same forehead, same general mouth shape (drool included), same overall look of smug, intellectual superiority. But she was effortless in her awkward beauty, whereas your Rick had been a vulgar, dirty old man. You had time to note she wasn’t wearing makeup - not even mascara - before her lips twisted into a smirk. At that, her face transformed and it was like staring through a window into the past, so immediately were you reminded of the man she was but also  _ was not. _

“I-I get it, baby. Expecting uh - something else. Lost your sheep, didn’t you? Tell me, Bo Peep, did he ditch you, ooooorrr did the dumbass get himself blown to high hell?”

At the mention of Rick, your eyes began to water. You were always too emotional, he’d loved chastising you for it, and so you did your best to blink away the tears, not wishing to aggravate her with your sentimental nature. She noticed of course, one eyebrow quirking up, and she snorted, shaking her head.

“The latter then. Y-y-you know, for the smartest humans in the multi-verse, Ricks can be pretty fucking stupid. Th-the name’s Rita, by the way.”

Introducing yourself, the two of you fell into easy conversation. Rita was charming, charismatic though rough around the edges, her jokes crude and her belches deafening. In other words, just like Rick. It didn’t take long before the alcohol began to work its magic, and you found yourself fawning over her, finding excuses to scoot closer, touch her arm. The look in her eyes told you she was enjoying the attention, so when she invited you to leave you went willingly. Once alone, she’d shoved you against the wall of the cheap motel room and pressed her lips to the pulse in your neck.

“Y-y-you’ve never been with a woman before.”

It wasn’t a question, merely a statement of fact. The adrenaline coursing through your system was cutting through the buzz of the liquor, making you dizzy, shaky. Arousal pooled between your legs, undeniable, and when she pressed her knee into your crotch you keened and ground down, seeking  friction. Rita chuckled - that same, gravelly noise you’d heard so many times - and then she was groping at your breasts through your shirt hard enough to make you whine. When her fingers slid up underneath the fabric, pulling down the cup of your bra to tweak the nipple, you bucked and squealed.

“Oooh. W-we don’t like that, do we? Hmm.  _ Too bad.” _

She did it again to the other one, softer this time, and the sensation was different enough to change your yelp to a moan. That combined with the continuous pressure of her knee against your clothed pussy was making you squirm. You needed  _ more.  _ Rita read you, just like Rick would, and stepped back.

“Undress. C’- c’mon. Chop chop. Let’s - let’s see what we’re working with here. I already know you have great tits. I-I want to see the rest.”

Complying without hesitation, it was only a moment later you were fully nude, trembling under her intense gaze. Rita catalogued you, dissected you, taking in the curves of your hips, your tits, the way your thighs sloped down to your calves. Twirling her finger, she motioned for you to spin, which you did, blushing when you faced her again and saw the obvious lust etched on her features.

“Fuuuuck me. No uh - no  _ wonder _ your Rick kept you around. Y-you’re a fine piece of ass.”

Your cheeks burned at the compliment and you bit your lip. Rita approached you, turning you around and bending you over, telling you to brace yourself against the wall. Once there, she ran two of her fingers up the lips of your wet slit and dipped inside, making you gasp and push back. You heard her grunt - “Eager little slut” - but then she withdrew. At the sound of her clothes being removed you turned. Once revealed, her body was willowy, almost graceful. Rita was tall, of course, probably 6 feet, but where Rick was scrawny she was lithe. Her breasts were small, pert and perfect, her hips narrow, legs long and thin. The small patch of pubes around her pussy matched the color of the hair on her head. You gawked a moment before catching yourself, but she’d noticed.

“A-alright, Bo Peep. On your knees. Y-y-you’re going to lick my cunt till I cum on that pretty face. Th-then I’ll take care of you. Got it?”

But you protested the demand.

“I’ve never done that before! I don’t know what to do…”

At your confession she groaned and rolled her eyes.

“W-what are you, some shy, bi-curious college freshman during pledge week? Just - just fucking  _ get in there. _ I-I promise I taste good.”

With that, she grasped your hair in one large hand and shoved your face between her legs. Rita was right, she  _ did _ taste good, though you had nothing with which to compare. Using your tongue, you ran circles around her clit, something you yourself enjoyed, and that earned you an appreciative hum. 

“Theeeere we go. Get your - use your fingers. Y-you have a pussy too, right? Don’t you like that?”

You did, of course, so you slid two fingers inside, marveling at the sensation of the slick, plush feel of her cunt as it clenched on your hand. Already, your tongue was getting stiff, and it caused you to lose your rhythm, break consistency. Rita groaned out of irritation rather than pleasure.

“Ugggh… Y-you first timers. No stamina _.  _ Get up, Bo Peep. On the bed. Let me - I’m going to show you how it’s done.”

Once you were sprawled out on the bed, she shoved your legs apart roughly and held you there a moment, told you stay spread open. Rita didn’t head straight for your cunt, the place where you wanted her most, instead she used this time and position to tease you. Running kisses along one hip, her fingers danced over the sensitive skin at your ribs, your waist, her tongue now trailing down down downwards until she stopped to nip at the tender flesh of your inner thigh. Her breath ghosted over the lips of your pussy, and then she was devouring you, pressing her entire mouth to your clit, making you thrust up against her face. When she slid two fingers inside you, curling them just so, you wailed, your pleasure mounting.

Rita was insistent, perfect, her movements never faltering even though you knew by now she had to be getting her tired, her jaw and tongue starting to ache. There was a hum from between your legs, and she looked up, having felt your pussy clench around her fingers.

“Y-you’re close, baby. I know it.  Cum for me. L-let me hear it.”

And when she returned her attention to your clit, your release crested only to peak an instant later, your climax washing over you in a flood of bliss that made your back arc of the bed, your hands bunch in the sheets. You rolled against her hand as you came, moaning her name. She didn’t try to pin your hips, allowing you to play out your euphora as she grinned into your skin. Once you’d settled, you glanced down. Rita was smirking, basking in her conquest, and running a hand along your thigh. Once she noticed your obvious indecision, she snorted and rolled her eyes. 

“Don’t - it’s  _ fine. _ This is kinda my thing. I-I like breaking ‘em in. You’ll be back for more. They _ always _ come back for more.  _ Trust me.” _


End file.
